Man Yue

If you lived in China and had a baby, there are some key Chinese phrases you would undoubtedly learn in about a day. Two basic ones are nan har hai shi nu har? Or Is it a boy or a girl? The other is Duo da le? Or How old? You would also learn the term Man Yue since after you told people the baby’s age, they would mention something about not having completed you Man Yue or 30 day home rest (or confinement as I see it). They do believe in it strongly though. I’ve had old ladies get into my face and yell at me about going out during Man Yue. This is when I pretend I do not speak any Chinese as this makes the situation easier. At the end of Man Yue you are supposed to have a big party. Sometimes people shave their boys head and make paint brushes out of the boy’s hair.

There are lots of goofy ideas in China about pregnancy and childbirth. I could devote an entire page to Chinese old wives tales. We have these in America also the only difference is most Chinese still believe them. Some have good cause, but most are totally ridiculous (no bathing for a month after birth, no air conditioning, no cold things, etc). I would have put Man Yue in the ridiculous category, but after speaking with a multitude of women, I think American culture is in the minority on this one. The idea behind Man Yue is that the newborn should be protected from the harsh world and possible infections and the woman’s body needs time to recover from the birthing process. They believe if the woman does not rest after birth, she will have ailments later in life. I still think the idea of having ailments later in life is silly, but in general it seems that many cultures observe some form of this tradition. The Korean women I spoke with spend 3 months inside. Thai women do about a month. Japanese women also observe some form of this home confinement. Even a Bulgarian woman said they spend a month inside also. I suppose even my own Orthodox faith observes some form of this in the Forty day churching blessing in which women are reintroduced to church after forty days with the assumption that they haven’t been there since the baby was born i.e. they have been at home in isolation.

I don’t like it. I’m not good at doing nothing. My idea of bed-rest is sitting down for an extra hour or two a day and even that is pretty hard for me. So I intrinsically do not like the idea. However, it is interesting how important it seems to some cultures and how unimportant and unnecessary it seems to most Americans. I think it is the difference in the family unit. In many cultures (Chinese, Korean, even Eastern European), a woman’s mother or mother-in-law is expected to come and take care of a woman after she gives birth. In many Asian cultures, this care-taking lasts for a year or even a lifetime in which the child is often reared by the grandparents. In America, we do often have some family help, but it usually only last a couple of days and is not extensive. I’ve often heard American women groan at the mention of their mother’s coming to help for even a couple of days. I’ve heard women color it as obtrusive. But in general shouldn’t it be nice to have someone help you for a month. In the Chinese tradition, the family cooks, cleans and takes care of other children for you. What is so weird about that? That’s just plain nice. It seems our cultures are just so different and, in my opinion, the American culture is the one that is strange.